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So, I need to get some rest now and be fresh for the morning. I'm just hoping to wake up in time to catch my train. Love, peace and natural hair grease.
We've decided to turn in the application as a group of four instead of three. That'll be much better for all of us, but the final component doesn't come until Thursday night or Friday morning. We hope to like him and that he likes us. Two guys and two girls keeps things even. We did meet another prospect today. Another female. She was ok, but there will definitely be an issue with her taking the smallest room. Of course I announced that the last part of the group got the smallest room. Three of us were happy. Hee hee.
Keeping my fingers crossed that no one else turns in an application while we're waiting. Let's also hope that our potential fourth that we met today doesn't try to make the apartment all her own with her friends. But people don't stab each other in the back anymore. They make sure you see it coming.
I'll be sure to keep my eyes open.
- Location:Bronx futon
Of course, when one has a dream, there is always someone or something there to turn it into a nightmare. All the more reason to fight for it. We possibly don't make the minimum income requirement combined which is about $100000. But it's a great place. We have potential fourth roommates coming to interview and that should cover the part we're missing.
Then there's this multiple jobs thing. It gets exhausting, but when you need more money, you need more money. When I write more read some. I'm interviewing this week for a few positions that run the gamut. I'm also attempting to audition without a headshot (8x10). I have a 4x6 (postcard) that I attach to the resume. Cute, huh?
I just can't find my stuff 'cause it's all in storage and that wasn't the best organizing job I've ever done.
I'm also staying on a futon, not much different from my own, but it's in a living room which is different. And weird and only slightly awkward 'cause the people are cool with me here ALL of the time.
I hope the Central High reunion was great. When the next one rolls around I hope I hear about it well in advance and have more than a month to make proper plans.
- Location:Bronx futon
Tomorrow is another day and another time for worries, stress and the world. Thought I'd share that. While you're at it take a YOU day. No one else is gonna do it for you.
TTFN!
- Location:Living room in Harlem
- Mood:
rejuvenated
When's the last time something has gone me way? I really need to think hard about this one, because the following list is a list of the only things keeping me from falling apart.
A. I've joined a group working to improve our improv skills. It's been a fun place to release so tension and not think for an hour or two.
B. I've got about 50 dvds to catch up on and become current or closer to it on television shows actually on the air.
C. I'm getting more and more comfortable singing in front of people in my regular voice than I've ever been.
D. I'm signing up for food stamps, which is exciting, but I don't know why.
E. I'm growing out my hair and going "natural" so it's gonna be interesting to see what the finished product looks like.
That's a good start to my list, right? These are some things I've got going for me and that keep me going. I haven't written anything for a while and may get back into the habit again soon. I just need a little more time to get back to myself. Just a little more time and it'll happen. Right? Or is this one of those periods where you start to realize that there's no going back and nothing's the same as it was, but I won't even understand this until it happens again. Damn.
I need a vacation from myself.
Over the past two months, I've been rehearsing for a musical that got canceled a week before it was scheduled to open. I rehearsed for and shot a short science fiction film and got to do my own stunt (getting shot in the back and falling), then I got to escape from the soldiers. I learned I need to get in better shape. I wasn't even winded during the shoot, but the next day I was sore, so I concluded that I like being in a pretty female shape better than being a squishy, humanoid round shape.
I've also been prepping different artistic ventures, business endeavors, and fast money gigs here and there. In the midst of it all, I fought off winter illnesses and still have a slight cough and plenty of yucky phlegm all the time.
I need to sleep soon.
- Mood:
bitchy
There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.
() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
()Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 6
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 15
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 22
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 31
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 40
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
() KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 46
(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 57
(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 64
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 75
(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 87
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 96
() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 107
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 122
(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 128
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 134
() Baseketball
(x) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 139
(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 147
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 154
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
(x) Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
(x) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 160
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
() Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
() Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
() Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
() Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far:161
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total so far: 168
Now Add them up and...
Put "I've seen ?? out of 239 films" in the subject line and repost it
- Location:Hamilton Heights
- Mood:
bored
I'm started from the inside out and outside in. Whichever suits me at any given moment. Don't hate or judge 'cause I've decided to make a plan. Make your own and worry about that.
That's the news for the month. Maybe I'll write again on the 9th to let you know if I reached any of my monthly goals.
BTW, I did the trapeze yesterday and it was fantastic. My upper body is a lot sore today, but it was well worth it. Take the step if you get the chance. It's quite the rush.
- Location:Bed in Hamilton Heights Apt
- Mood:
relieved - Music:That's what you get
Stupid people are FN annoying. And why do they put you in the middle of THEIR, key word = "NOT MINE", bs? Not gonna go into all the details. It's too depressing.
A few days ago, I remembered when I said, years ago, "I want people to be talking about me so that I'd have some Drama going on in my life, to keep it interesting." That said, I now know that I was one of those STUPID people. I can't take it! I've never been in the middle of anyone else's drama and I do NOT want to be there now. I've got my own fn shit to deal with.
In addition, when I say, "please don't do that in front of me or near me." Whatever "THAT" may be at the time, I probably mean, "If you continue to do that thing that's pissing me off, I'm gonna throw a fit (big or little) that people will watch, resulting in uncomfortableness. And/or I'll probably leave."
Now, I'd like to make it clear that the people I speak of aren't stupid. Probably far from it. However, actions taken and words spoken by them do sometimes cross the Stupid Line and enter the Annoying Zone, and oftentimes end up sliding onto the Pissing People Off Platform. So, how can I solve this problem in my life? I'm open to suggestions. I'm already at the point where I've let it build and I'm gonna snap and really cut somebody soon. SOS! SOS!
FN Stupid people are fn annoying.
Oh, boys, or if you prefer, Men, are fn annoying, too. I don't have specific situations off the top of my head, but I'm pretty sure you can come up with something if you give yourself a minute. Ok, they are intriguing. Even Interesting. I'll give them that, too. But they annoy the shit outta me on occasion. Anyone wanna take a stab at explaining why that is to me? Right after you tell me how to step outta stupid acting, annoyance making people drama.
- Mood:
pessimistic
- Mood:
busy
On the other hand, maybe we continue to go out together 'cause it's good company and it doesn't matter where we go so long as we're enjoying each other. Aw.
MORAL of the Story: It's possible to have a really fun, inexpensive time with funny and entertaining people with whom you enjoy being.
This week has been better though. I haven't had a drop of alcohol even though people around me drink every day. I haven't had candy, though I did go to Baskin Robbins yesterday for the 31 cent scoop deal. Last week, I decided that I'd allow myself one day of meat a week, but I haven't really done that yet. It seems like the portions of meat are so large and don't seem as appetizing as they used to seem. Anyway, back on topic, this week the shows have gone really well. Today was interesting. The first performance was just wacky and two people, that I know of, broke character in front of the audience. Not good. Lines were dropped. There was a long, long pause but the audience started applauding so it kinda helped us get the momentum back. There were also several lines in songs just deleted. Just not funny and not all that much fun when you can't give the audience the best show you know you're capable of performing. By the second show, everyone was back on point and we had a lot of fun with it. Too bad for the first audience, though. I really hope they weren't disappointed.
Yesterday's show was great, too. The audience's energy was one of the best. Talia and I went to the bathroom before the show and were almost late for the start. People were freaking out. We apologized but there's no excuse for tardiness. I should have found out when we had to be back before we took off.
I've also been feeling more testy lately. I don't mean to be overly intense but a lot of the time that's the way I come across and I don't want to take out my aggression on other people. It's mine! I need to breathe more. Any other suggestions?
- Location:bed in the closet in corona
- Mood:
sick - Music:Bed
My contract with The Company is almost coming to a close. What's in store for my future? hmmm? It's awkward not knowing. I'll figure something out. These next few weeks are gonna be so crazy. I've got so much to get done and I'm hoping that I still have the energy to wake up on time every morning after getting to bed well after midnight.
Let me know if you think it's blurry, 'cause I don't trust my eyes and the color is different on my monitor. Also, I'll have to retouch the hair IF I decide to go with one. But I could use one as a post card, no problem, right? They are in their natural state, so don't be mean, just critical and constructive. Thanks!
Oh, I'm fine by the way.
Moral of the story: Don't fuck up!</span>
- Mood:
nerdy
Haven't heard from the housing people, so I'm thinking that I may not have gotten the apartment. I was so excited about it too. I'll just have to keep applying elsewhere. Sheesh.
Moral of the Story: If you never get your hopes up, you'll never be let down. :(
- Location:in front of the tele
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:family fued theme song
Yesterday was my third voice lesson with Danny and it's going very well. I'm getting more confident using my head voice and definitely mixing it into my chest voice more than I used to do. He's really good at breaking things down so I understand what I'm doing right. I need to bring in a recorder with me for our next session. Guess I'll fork out the money for one of the fancy ones that can be attached to an iPod.
Today, I go back to working on "Hoodlyfe." Well, there's a meeting to see what's going on with the series and who needs to be recast and other important information.
I've also been really tired, but I'm really trying to be better to myself. I jumped rope yesterday for 35 minutes. My nutrition still needs work, but I do put in some effort where I can. Still not on the meat. I like not eating meat or drinking alcohol for that matter. Haven't touched alcohol since the Super Bowl.
Now, I really have to find something new to do with my hair. I'm tired of the way it is now. I wanna dye it, and/or add to it. Opinions?
Moral of the story: When you're busy you have less time to worry about the little things.
- Location:red room
- Mood: bored
- Music:when you're gone
Anyway...
I"M BACK ONLINE. I'm connected to the world again. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? and dare I keep the laptop in my unheated, uninsulated room during the day? hmmm. it's under warranty for the next 3 months so what could it hurt? Only time will tell.
Now, allow me a few days to get caught up in my connectivity and I'll be in touch.
TTFN
Moral of the Story: You only know how many friends you (don't) have when you're friendless.
- Location:Where the Couch resides
- Mood:
giggly - Music:only the lonely
Sometimes things just seem to fall into place. I've been consistently working for the past few months and while I'm really tired, I'd rather be tired from doing a lot of something that matters than a lot of nothing that has no impact.
Yesterday, was my first day back at NiteStar and it was fun. I am still harder on myself than anyone else ever is on me. I don't know how to change that. My confidence seems so shaky sometimes and I really feel like I'm always looking for confirmation and approval. After all that I've accomplished recently I'd think I'd know that I'm doing a great job with myself. What more can I do to boost my confidence in myself instead of pretending to be confident? Maybe if I fake it enough I'll start to believe it. I'll try and see how that works for me.
I've actually gotta go now and finish memorizing script... er, perfecting it... just getting more comfortable with it. It's time for you to get back to more important things, like LIFE. If you don't have one, get one, pronto!
- Location:Grandma's PC
- Mood: giddy
- Music:They
